I’m new to being a Yaya (grandmother). Our eldest grandson is eight and his little brother six. I was looking through old picture albums recently when I realized just how much I’ve used my own as well as my children’s grandmothers as role models. There is a lot of diversity there to gleam from.
My Grandma Etta was seldom still and always working in either the kitchen or the garden. I have fond memories of standing on the kitchen step stool while we baked something yummy or canned something from the garden. She would assign me tasks as if I had done them before, but my mistakes were usually met with laughter followed by some gentle instruction and on we would go. The pride I took in my participation far exceeded my contribution. My self-esteem grew and I learned the joy of a job well done.
Grandma Livonne was more laid back and the most patient person I ever knew. I guess having eleven children could have contributed to her unflappable patience with little people. She would always stop whatever she was doing and give me her undivided attention when I had something to say or a hurt to cry over. I learned the most valued word in times of pain is frequently no word at all, but a loving ear.
My mother became that grandmother that let her lovies have whatever their heart desired. And while she instructed them not to tell their mommy, the shenanigans were almost always found out. Like the time our six-year-old came home from Grandma’s house with a tummy ache from too much candy and proceeded to tell us she just felt like ‘shit, shit, shit’. A word that she obviously didn’t know before her visit and one that my mother would only recite in private and always in threes. I’ve tried not to teach my grandson’s any bad words, but I have tried to make every visit something special with a few secrets from mom and dad now and then.
My mother-in-law helped instill in my children a love for playing games and the joy of using your imagination. Once, when the children were grammar school age, the adults were playing Scrabble. My daughter asked to play and I dismissed her request by saying we already had a foursome. But my mother-in-law quickly made up a little story using the three words on the board and then adding her contribution as she laid down her tiles. The initial story starting as: ‘A frog sat on a sofa after eating roast’. By the time the game was over, all the grandchildren were standing around the table waiting to see how the player’s next word could continue the story and invoke peals of laughter from one and all. If an adult missed a word, the children were quick to correct them and keep the story on track. (Little did we know the kids would grow up thinking that was how the game was always played.) Our grandsons are still a bit young for Scrabble, but we have enticed them with treats or dollars to play other board games. I hope they are getting the game bug, but I am certain they are learning creative ways to earn those rewards.
Making work fun, listening with your whole heart, keeping a few secrets from mom and dad, and encouraging creativity have become tools of the trade for this Yaya along with sharing my faith and my awe of the world we get to inhabit. While I can’t do as much as I used to and my circle of influence is now quite small, I hope I leave those I love and the world around me a bit better than I found it.
Who’s watching you right now that needs a role model or a friend? While we were designed to thrive, we are also designed to serve. Maybe it’s just giving someone a break, teaching a younger friend a new skill, or listening with your whole self.
“May you live to enjoy your grandchildren!” (Psalm 128:6 – TLB)
“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.” (Mark Twain)
“Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you’re just a mother. The next, you are all-wise and prehistoric.” (Pam Brown – Country Living Magazine)
Yours for a Joyful Journey,
Joyice
va60yz