When the kids were youngsters, we sang a little song that’s refrain said “Self-control is just controlling myself, it’s listening to my heart, and doing what is smart.” I still sing the first verse when I find myself needing some self-control. The simple message relayed in a bit of humor always helps me get back on track. Old habits are hard to break, and self-control takes practice.
“Once I had a knot in my shoe
And it would not come loose
I tried and tried and pried and pried
But it would not come loose
I got so mad I kicked the door
and stubbed my little toe, ohhh
If only I had learned a bit of self-control”
It’s no longer popular to talk about self-control and instead we hear a lot about motivation and positive reinforcement to help us make the right decision. They are both great tools, but I wonder if de-emphasizing my responsibility for my own actions isn’t making it harder to change some of the habits that I’ve had my whole life.
How we eat, can even sometimes become our identity. A real man grills meat, a busy mom uses convenience foods (ala hamburger helper) or a hard-working person deserves a break at the end of the day (queue McDonald’s). There can be a really long road between our awareness of what we should do, then our acceptance, intention, action, and practice of a new habit.
I’ve decided that changing a habit that I’ve held for a lifetime and practiced EVERY DAY, multiple times a day, is no simple matter. It’s almost as if they must die and so I need to grieve. I can get stuck in one stage (denial, anger, bargaining, depression) of grief over one of my cherished food habits just like any other loss.
Right now, breaking the habit of eating after dinner while we watch tv is where I’m struggling. I’m working diligently on bringing back some healthier habits for our evening hours, such as playing board games, working on my book project or joining my husband in the garden while he does the evening watering. And it’s not that the snacks are bad food, they are just unnecessary calories and fat for someone who needs to lose a few pounds. Our body assimilates our food very differently based on when we eat it. And late-night eating is difficult to digest and tends to be stored as fat. “In the house, in the mouth!” is the gospel. If it is not in my kitchen, freezer or pantry, I don’t even consider eating it.
We recently celebrated an anniversary and while I’m thankful we didn’t go completely wild, that vegan pizza was hardly the best choice and my Chipotle take out was a real fat bomb that did my desire to shed a few pounds no favors. The old movie marathon was a lot of fun, but old movies and old habits go together so out came the popcorn and chips and guacamole. Ouch!! But maybe this late-night fun was just a small toe stub, a minor detour I need to accept and move on. It’s the day to day practice I need to apply myself to now.
Where are you stuck and could use a little self-control to change an unhealthy habit?
“A person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out.” (Proverbs 25:28 TM)
“With enough momentum, nearly any kind of change is possible.” (John Maxwell – The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership)
“Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs one step at a time.” (Mark Twain – Pudd’nhead Wilson)
Yours for a Joyful Journey,
Joyice